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APRIL 2013 -
SEXY X2
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37
walk out first and he was very nervous.
I was waiting a few minutes to come out
after him and all of the sudden I hear him
talking to someone. I thought for sure we
were busted. After a while, I finally come
out and the guy he was talking to (one of
the staff) was really friendly and said to
have a good night. My boyfriend is hold-
ing these papers. He said to me “you’re
not going to believe what just happened.”
I was still thinking we must be in some
sort of trouble with the museum. I thought
maybe the papers were some weird sort of
fine for public indecency (laughs again).
It turned out they were free tickets to
come back. The person who gave them to
us was apologizing because we had not
been able to see the whole museum since
we got there late and they were closing!
It was so bizarre that we could not stop
laughing. I was convinced he knew we
were having sex and that is the real reason
he gave us the tickets.
Anyway, even though it was weird and we
were interrupted, it was still very erotic
because my boyfriend was so turned on
by it, which really turned me on. There-
fore, that is what led to what turned out
to be one of my most passionate experi-
ences. When we got back to my place, he
sat down on a big chair I had in the living
room and pulled me down so I was sitting
on his lap. I thought he would just want to
run to the bedroom but he started kiss-
ing me passionately on the chair instead.
Then he stopped out of nowhere and just
kind of looked at me funny. He finally
said, “so what’s going on here?” I asked
what he meant though I thought I knew
what he was getting at. He said, “What’s
going on here with us?” and something
like “what are you feeling?” He looked
nervous. I had a feeling he wanted to tell
me he loved me but did not want to be
the one to say it first. I guess I was nerv-
ous too because instead of just saying, “I
Love you,” I said, “I told my best friend
today that I was falling in love with you.”
My boyfriend actually started crying and
said, “I love you so much.” That made me
start crying so we were both sitting there
crying and professing our love to each
other (we laugh about that now). When
we finally did get to the bedroom, we
truly made love and it was one of the most
passionate times in my life. In fact, I often
think of that as our first time. In addition,
that night I had no trouble having orgasms
from either oral sex or from intercourse. It
was amazing.
What should have a night to become a
quite romantic evening?
I think there are many things that can
make a night romantic. The answers I
gave above were two very different nights
but both were romantic in different ways.
I think the most important ingredient is
being with someone you are truly in love
with and vice versa. Then the other details
do not matter as much. I have dated a lot
between serious relationships, have defi-
nitely been wined, and dined a lot in my
life. Moreover, I will admit, of course it is
very nice to be treated well. It is nice to be
taken to the finest restaurants in New York
or to a Broadway show or on a Caribbean
vacation at a 5 star resort (my ex husband
was big on those). It is nice to be given
fancy jewelry or designer bags (my per-
sonal obsession!) I once had a person take
me to this expensive restaurant and he had
pre-ordered lobster because he knew it
was my favorite. He had also arranged for
them to have a dozen long stem roses on
the table for me when we got there. At the
time, I really liked him. I remember being
very impressed with how he had tried
so hard to make it romantic and perfect.
Then later he turned out to be a complete
jerk. Therefore, that taints the memory.
Still, as a woman, I definitely appreciate
all those things.
At the same time, I remember a night I
had with my boyfriend who passed away
where we literally got McDonald has and
stayed in at his place. It was one of the
most romantic and passionate nights I had
ever had. We ate McDonald’s by candle-
light and afterwards we were dripping the
hot wax on each other and making love. It
was beautiful.
So I think it really depends, there is not
a formula. The big gestures are nice and
always appreciated, but in the end, if it is
not with someone, you love and whom
you know loves you, they do not mean as
much. To me it is not romantic if someone
is just doing those things to go through
the motions. It is when they are doing
them motivated by love. You can feel
the difference when they are gazing into
your eyes and you can see and feel how
much they love and cherish you. It is not
just someone saying you look beautiful,
it is when they say it and look at you as if
you are the most beautiful woman in the
room to them. It knows they feel proud
and lucky to be the one who gets to take
you out, then go home, and make love to
you. Hearing those things from your lover
and feeling in your heart and soul that he/
she means it is what makes it a romantic
night. It is when you feel like the flowers
and fancy dinners came from that per-
son’s heart, not out of obligation. I think
in heterosexual relationships, more men
need to understand that it is imperative
for a woman to continue to feel cherished.
That is romance. As long as she does, she
will do anything and everything to keep
her man feeling appreciated, satisfied, and
happy. However, once he stops making
her feel that way, she will eventually
start to look outside of the relationship
for someone who does. No woman ever
wants to feel taken for granted by the man
she loves. It is that simple.
So what should have a night to become
a night of passion and turn on the
sheets?
I think the things I was just saying, about
the person you are with telling you that
you are the most beautiful and sexy
woman in the room and meaning it is the
key to passion. I am an open person so I
have no problem saying I have had a lot
of sex in my life. I think the reason that
when I was younger I was able to have or-
gasms from sex more easily was because
I did not always know the difference
between love and lust. If someone was
attracted to me, and this person and me
is giving me a lot of attention, that was
enough for me. For a long time after my
first love died, I truly never felt I would
fall in love again. Then of course I did
and I think that is when things started to
come together for me. In general, for me,
passion comes from love. In addition, of
course you have to have chemistry. I have
realized that it is not that I have a problem
having orgasms; I actually am able to
have multiple orgasms! However, I have
to feel loved and cherished. If I am having
“trouble”, it’s because I’m not feeling that
way. I also have to feel really “wanted”
sexually. Meaning I have to feel that it is
specific to me, that my partner wants me,
not just that they want to have sex. It took
me a long time to get that. So generally,
I think for me true passion comes when I
feel a combination of being loved, adored,
lusted after, & safe with that person. I