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SEXY GLAM
MAGAZINE - FEBRUARY 2014
Why we only spill it after sex.
The sweet little nothings whispered in the throes of post
orgasmic bliss? Those might actually be your deepest,
most sensitive secrets. A new study is looking into why the
exchanges during pillow talk could be the most open mo-
ments we will ever experience with our sex partners. The
University of Connecticut recently released a study to Medi-
cal Xpress investigating why we let out our precious secrets
after and not before sex.
Pillow talk, referred to in the science community as the
post-coital time interval, is most likely impacted by the
hormonal changes that happen during sex and orgasm,
provoking us to communicate more openly with our part-
ners. Whether those communications are an, “I love you,”
blurted out weeks too soon or a “I’m seeing someone else,”
inopportunely confessed, they are, as a baseline, our most
confessional.
The culprit for our word vomit is oxytocin, the feel-good
love hormone, which floods our bodies as a result of orgasm
post-sex. Author Amanda Denes explains, “While men as
well as women experience the post-climax oxytocin surge,
testosterone is thought to dampen the effects of oxytocin,
which may mean fewer warm, fuzzy feelings post-sex for in-
dividuals with more testosterone.” Those individuals would
be men, of course.
In the study, Denes found that women who had an orgasm
during sex were more likely to to disclose positive emotions
to their
partners
than those
who didn’t
come. And
across the
board,
women
always
disclose
more posi-
tive feel-
ings during
pillow talk
than men
do. This
all comes
down to
oxytocin,
which
increases
feelings of
trust and
connection
in an indi-
vidual.
The in-
tensity of
your pillow
talk also
relates to how much you like the person you’re humping.
Committed couples were more likely to not regret those
warm fuzzies expressed during pillow talk, perhaps a sign
that their love and trust has already influenced their rate of
disclosure.
Which means, when we tell secrets during pillow talk,
there’s less of a risk involved than, say, in the middle of a
grocery store aisle. The person we are lying naked beside
just labored over us until we came, and they probably came
too. Our bodies are racing with chemicals telling us to
connect with them and maintain the relationship with the
high. There’s not a better moment to slip in a small disclo-
sure—”You mean the world to me,” “I’m really happy,” “I
returned your hideous Christmas gift,”—than when your
body and feelings are literally drunk on love.
You’re More Likely to Tell a Secret During Pillow Talk
BY KATE HAKALA