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Learn why good sex can come with age
exhausted,” says Dr. Sebastian. If you’re
a morning person, try a little wake-up
nookie, or if possible, a bit of afternoon
delight.
Myth 5: You don’t have to worry
about birth control.
Truth: Tell that to the legion of late-
life moms toting their beloved “oops”
babies! “It’s hard to know exactly when
you’ll stop ovulating, even if you’re in
the middle of perimenopause,” says Dr.
Sebastian. “To check when you can skip
protection, your doctor can do a blood
test.” The level of follicle stimulating
hormone (FSH) in your blood can reveal
whether you’re still fertile, but levels
fluctuate during perimenopause, so even
a low FSH level may be misleading.
That’s why it’s better to be safe than
sorry. Menopause isn’t official until
you’ve gone a full year without a period,
says McGrath. In a new relationship?
You still have to protect against sexually
transmitted diseases, so use condoms
until you’re sure about your partner’s
past.
Myth 6: It’s normal for sex drive to
drop as you age.
Truth: Actually, it may be the opposite.
“It’s more likely for younger women
to experience dips in libido,” says
McGrath, probably thanks to the hormo-
nal upheavals of pregnancy, childbirth,
breastfeeding and dealing with young
children. So if you have little or no
desire for any kind of sex—even with
George Clooney in your fantasies—see
your doctor to be sure you don’t have a
medical condition, such as thyroid issues
or certain cancers, says Dr. Sebastian.
Beyond that, libido has a lot to do with
how easily you can talk to your partner,
and how bothered either of you is by
how often you have sex. For one couple,
once a month feels fine, whereas for
others three times a week is practically
nothing. “Figure out how much sex is
enough before you decide you have a
libido problem,” says McGrath.
Myth 7: Things that once turned you
on no longer work because of your
age.
Truth: “This is more a fact of a long
relationship than aging,” says McGrath.
You might be bored or in a rut (and so
might your man), so address it as soon
as possible, advises Dr. Sebastian. Get
a video, buy a book, shake things up.
Have a whole range of moves in your
sexual arsenal because different things
turn you on not just in different stages of
life but on different days!
Myth 8: If I’ve never had great or-
gasms, it’s too late now.
Truth: This is easy to debunk, says Dr.
Sebastian, who admits, “I was never
multi-orgasmic until after I had my sec-
ond child.” She attributes the change to
a newfound sense of self-confidence, an
ability to start asking for what she want-
ed in bed. Are you stressed? Did you
have a fight with your spouse? Did you
recently get a promotion at work and
are feeling good about yourself? These
all can affect your ability to climax. It’s
never too late to explore what turns you
on, says McGrath. “People think they’re
born knowing how to be a great lover,
but it has to be learned.”
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