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grabbed with his dirty hand as if it
was the last link connecting him with
life and the possibility of being.
Nevertheless, something happened,
something that even his unrivaled
mind had not been able to under-
stand. It happened a long time ago.
He had been working on what
he considered the ultimate answer
which would unfold all the questions:
the very root of the big philosophy
tree assembled by many thinkers
such as Thales of Miletus, Plato, Aris-
totle, Thomas Aquinas, Montesquieu,
Marx, Michel Foucault and hundreds
more up to him to hold up the -
never more appropriately described
– millions of leaves ornamenting its
branches.
It was the answer that reconciled
the theories of Padmasambhava,
Judá Abrabanel, Al-Muhasibi and
Augustine of Hippo with the ones
of Friedrich Engels, Ludwig Feuer-
bach and Friedrich Nietzsche. The
religious thinking and the godless
thinking were joined together in an
indissoluble marriage forever.
He started working on that postulate
like another of his mental exercises to
keep the strings of his intellect tuned.
Nevertheless, little by little, as sur-
realistic ideas brightened the crucible
where irreconcilable philosophical
trends would melt in a final synthesis,
an obsession was taking possession
of his spirit until depriving him of
sleep and appetite, driving him to
spend night and day in a frenzy of
mental activity.
He read the Bible and thought
about it. At the beginning of each
new idea, he opened the holy book
again and contrasted that idea with
the book pages in an endless suc-
cession of hypothesis and verifica-
tions. He saw that he was getting
increasingly closer to the perfect
thesis; he felt that the holy grail of
philosophy would finally be revealed
to him. His mental excitement, his
frenzy and complete lack of interest
in his own rest, personal hygiene
and even food mixed together one
night when, just at three o’clock in
the morning, he felt that his mind
was being filled with perfect ideas.
His eyes were literally blinded by
the light of his discovery; his body
went rigid and he was driven into
ecstasy to the point of paroxysm
by a pleasure never felt before. He
collapsed into his bed where he
remained motionless, stiff like a big
cypress, with his eyes open until the
new dawn surprised him.
When sun shone through his bed-
room window, his muscles suddenly
relaxed, he felt an extreme tiredness
and a new obsession seized him.
What if everything he had devised
was wrong?
He had to start all over again. He
had to read his worn out Bible
again.
A deep fear was taking him over
like a winter that made him shake
with cold. He picked up a blanket
from his bed and wrapped up in it,
clasping it against his chest and let
it fall on his back like a cape until it
trailed behind his feet.
He left his bedroom, crossed his
house and went out. Something was
driving him. It was a mixture of fear
of making mistakes, obsession and
excitement that was leading him to
walk the streets, one hand clasping
the cape-blanket that trailed on the
ground behind him, the other hold-
ing the Bible and drawing ara-
besque patterns in the air while in a
low voice he repeated the chain of
reasoning of his philosophical thesis.
It was then when he noticed it for
the first time: everybody was gone.
There were no people in the streets
or shops nor the typical city sounds;
cars were empty; there was nobody
to move the bike pedals. It seemed
as if a disgraceful absence had
occupied every space of the entire
world and had taken all traces of
humanity with it.
Had his discovery opened a door
that could change the world as he
knew it?
The mere possibility involved a new
obsession. He had to find somebody
who certified with their own pres-
ence that metaphysical impossibility
and if other human being could not
be found, he would not be able to
rest until finding the key to reverse
what he had just triggered.
He started walking without direction
or destination while his mind could
not stop thinking. He spoke in a
loud voice, fearless of being heard
since nobody was around him and
at the same time hoping to be heard
in order to prove that he was not
alone in the world.
Alone in the world.
The thought of being alone terrified
him so much that he started moaning
and crying with no shame. He was
so afraid; he felt so utterly defense-
less, abandoned, forgotten even
by the mercy of that God always
present in the bible he was holding
in his hand, that a terrible pain hit
SEPTEMBER 2012 -
SEXY X2
MAGAZINE -
51