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oral sex. Unlike intercourse, oral sex
can seem very detached, distant, and
even selfish at times, because it involves
only one person receiving actual sexual,
physical stimulation, while the other
person does all the work. If your sexual
partner acts as though they expect this
favor or are unappreciative of it, that
could a be a huge turn-off for the person
performing the act—especially if the
person receiving is not willing to recip-
rocate. Next time the topic of oral sex
comes up with your partner, ask yourself
whether you’re doing this because you
want to, or because you feel pressured in
some way to do it. If you feel pressured
or as if it is a chore, take a second to be
up front with our partner and tell them
you wish they appreciated your efforts
more, and if they’re not returning the
favor, tell them how much you would
enjoy it (that is, if you do, of course).
If they don’t give your concerns any
consideration, they probably don’t de-
serve your efforts anyway, and it might
be time to share your hard work with
someone who does.
If things are fine and respectful between
yourself and your partner, however,
maybe take the time in the act to figure
out what style suits you. Maybe your
tongue or jaw is getting too tired—slow
down! Sure, this act is about pleasing
someone else, but it’s not a race—they’ll
get there eventually—and it doesn’t
mean you have to sit quietly in discom-
fort through it. You can come up for air
by licking or kissing their inner thighs
and abdomen, or just by using your
hands and teasing them a bit, which
can lead to more intense stimulation for
them anyway. There’s also something
to be said for asking for a little hand
action on their part while you’re doing
your thing. Oral sex doesn’t have to be
a complete disconnect, and maybe it
would be nicer for you if they would ca-
ress your back and neck and show their
appreciation while you were hard at
work. It’s also always nice to know that
they’re enjoying what you’re doing, so
if you feel like they’re not vocal enough
about their pleasure or instructions, be
open in telling them that you like to
hear their sexy sighs and moans. If you
work hard to make things pleasurable
for yourself during this process, but still
find that it’s not your thing, well, then it
may just not be your thing! That’s to-
tally okay, and I guarantee you will find
people out there who will be okay with
it as well. Hope this helps!
Caitlin
Is cybersex really cheating?
Peter
Hi Peter,
This is a pretty subjective question to
answer, but I think that if you had to
ask, that’s probably a, “yes”. If you are
already cybering while in a committed
relationship, which is what drove you to
ask this question, chances are you were
either having some sort of guilt over it,
or sensed you were about to get in trou-
ble with your significant other because
of it. Both of these things would mean
that, at the very least, it’s not exactly an
honest action. If you are contemplating
engaging in cyber-sex and are unsure
about it, stand by the golden rule and
ask yourself: “is this something I would
be okay with if my significant other be-
haved this way?” If you have any pause
at all over the answer, you probably
shouldn’t do it. In any event, I feel the
best course of action is to have an open,
honest conversation with your mate
about the topic, gauge their reaction,
and if the reaction is not positive, try to
figure out new ways to spice up your
sex life together. Perhaps you can create
new, sexy chat room names for your-
selves and pretend to be sexual strangers
with each other online. If you’re partner
is okay with it and you get the green
light, then chat away!
Stay faithful and stay sexy, whatever
that means for you both,
Caitlin
My husband is very conservative in
his everyday life and in bed. How can
I get him to
let loose for
hotter sex?
Patty Smith
Hi Patty!
This can be a very tough spot to be in.
While we all deserve healthy sexual
satisfaction, it can be difficult to gauge if
we’re pushing our significant other past
their healthy comfort zone in the process
of achieving it. To me, honesty is always
the best policy. If he’s already con-
servative, the worst thing to do would be
surprising him in bed with a new toy or
trick, because he’s already got his guard
up. With someone reserved, it’s prob-
ably best to get comfortable and relaxed
before bed and try to have an open
discussion about the topic. If he cares
about you, he will care that you are not
completely satisfied, and will probably
want to do something about it. This
doesn’t mean you can take this oppor-
tunity to pressure him into things he’s
not ready for—on the contrary--you can
take this opportunity to ask him what
sort of things he is comfortable with, or
if he has any fantasies he hasn’t told you
about. At this point, you can bond by
telling him about your own fantasies or
ideas, and try to find a middle ground or
see if any of your desires match up. Best
of luck to you both!
Caitlin
CAITLIN ROSS-POTEET
MODEL - WRITER
APRIL 2012 -
SEXY X2
MAGAZINE -
69
EMPOWERING EROT ICA
S
’s Corner
“Caitlin’s Corner” is a column in
which topics regarding sex are an-
swered in an empowering, playful
and informative way. If you have
any questions to ask Caitlin do not
hesitate to send in your questions to
contact@sexyx2.com