Page 28 - abril2013

28 - SEXY X2 MAGAZINE - APRIL 2013
Then I started getting jobs off the In-
ternet primarily. I guess right away the
main thing that I noticed was that pho-
tographers were much bolder and ag-
gressive about touching me in ways that
were borderline inappropriate. I had had
photographers flirt with me before or get
crushes on me but prior to that only one
made me truly uncomfortable and that
was actually the renowned photographer
my friend suggested. I remember at one
point he literally just came over, grabbed
one of my breasts, and acted as if it was a
joke. Nevertheless, that was not the norm
when I was first starting out, even when
I got older. Now sadly, it does seem to
be. I used to get jobs from Craig list until
my Make-up Artist friend told me about
Model Mayhem. Honestly, I do not see
much difference between the two, the
only good thing about Model Mayhem
is you get more of a sense of the photog-
rapher beforehand and can reach out to
other models who have worked with them
to ask about their experience. I guess
since pretty much everything is through
the Internet now, which can be good or
bad. I have had a couple of experiences
where I found out after shooting with
some people that they have known who I
am for a long time. I used to be big into
my-space and had many of my mod-
eling pictures on there but I do not use it
anymore. I have had a couple of photogra-
phers I met through Model Mayhem that
confessed after we shot that they already
“knew me” from Myspace before I joined
Model Mayhem. That made me feel a lit-
tle uncomfortable and I was surprised by
it. I guess that is the Internet for you.
The photographers who are in it for
the right reasons are sadly few and far
between and are generally the ones who
will only do time for print shoots or even
charge models to shoot with them. I think
the saddest part for me is I genuinely love
modeling and see it as another artistic
form of expression but since I do it as a
hobby and to make some extra money on
the side and am not signed to an agency,
I’m constantly having to be weary of
who I choose to work with. Maybe it was
always like that and I was too naive to
know it when I was younger but it feels as
though it is more of a problem now and I
think a lot of it does have to do with the
Internet. It is a blessing and a curse. I will
take this moment to give a huge shout out
to Lucy Lencinas and her husband who
work as a team and create this magazine.
They were amazing to work with and are
an example of photographers who are in it
for the right reasons.
In pictures you look very sexy; Are you
sexy in your everyday life?
I do not think I have ever been asked flat
out if I was sexy in “real life” (laughs).
The simple answer would be yes, I
feel that I am. I feel as though it is not
something women are supposed to admit,
like the one’s who are chosen as “sexi-
est women alive” always say they do not
think of themselves that way. From the
time I grew breasts (at 16, I literally went
from a 34B to a 36C, seemingly over-
night), I’ve felt sexy and have generally
portrayed myself in a sex kitten kind of
way. Not that it is my whole personality.
It is definitely not all I have to offer but it
is part of my identity. Even in my teen-
age years, I was told more than once that
I “ooze” sex appeal. It is not that I always
dress in a provocative way or anything
like that. It is also not that I think I am the
most beautiful girl, I actually think I am
a little odd looking. Nevertheless, I have
always been confident about my sexuality
and conscious of “being sexy.” I am not
saying it is a good or bad thing; it is just
part of me. To me, being sexy is in the
way you carry yourself. It is having confi-
dence. When I used to go out to clubs a lot
(in my party girl phase), I would not think
I was the prettiest girl there but I would
always walk in as if I owned the place and
people tend to treat you the way you think
of yourself. So I have always gotten a lot
of attention for “being sexy”. At the same
time, I realize the question is, am I sexy in
my “everyday life”, I guess in that sense I
would say yes and no. When I am home,
I am usually in sweats or comfortable
clothes. However, my boyfriend says he
thinks that’s when I’m the sexist, casual,
no makeup, etc. Therefore, he makes me
feel sexy even when I probably would not
normally that way. So actually, I guess the
answer is yes, I am a sexy bitch! My point
is I think any woman can be, they have
just got to own it.
What kind of clothes make you feel
sexy?
It all depends on my mood when it comes
to what clothes make me feel the sexiest. I
am confident overall when it comes to my
body. I love clothes & I love to dress up.
So I feel sexy when I get all dolled up for
a night out with my friends or a romantic
dinner with my boyfriend. I especially
like to show off my legs because I have
been told many times they are one of my
best features (that and my lips). I like to
wear things that stand out but in a classy
way. I always feel sexy right after I have
my hair done. In addition, I love having
my makeup done for shoots. I like trying
new styles. I definitely feel sexy in front
of the camera, I always have. That is part
of why I think I do come across as sexy
in pictures even if they are not nudes
or lingerie. I just have this kind of raw
sexuality to me (or so I have been told).
Then sometimes I feel the sexiest when
I have not even showered and my hair is
all wild (I have a huge mane of naturally
curly hair if I do not have it blow dried
or flat-ironed straight). That is often my
favorite time to have sex because it feels
more primal.
What do you think of love?
I think love is beautiful and complicated.
There are all different ways to love some-
one but I assume you mean love in the
romantic sense. I think it brings out the
best and the worst in all of us. When you
truly love someone, you can have more
compassion for them then you thought
possible, you can see their flaws but also
learn to see past them, to understand them
and maybe even learn to love them as
well.
Falling in love is easy, loving someone in
a relationship over a long period is hard,
and at least it is for me. I think a lot of us
see the person we fall in love with as a
sort of mirror. We see things sometimes
we do not want to see and we blame them
for that, when is really a part of ourselves
that we have not quite faced. In addi-
tion, I know I tend to look too much to
my partner to be my source of happiness
and that never works, someone can make
you happy but it is not his or her job to
provide you with a sense of meaning in
life. That is something I am working on. I
tend to get into relationships with caretak-
ers but at some point if you depend on
someone too, much they become resent-
ful. I am working on being more of an
equal partner. I am also an intense person
so when I say love brings out the best and