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time, as it is a more delicate process
for most, at least at first, than vaginal
penetration.
Whatever you do, please do not be
negative towards yourself for hav-
ing thoughts that are natural and
stem from a place of curiosity and
excitement—which are good things!
If you are worried about your faith,
realize that all things come to us for
one reason or another and you have
every right to explore that knowing
you are still a good person.
Best of luck!
Sometimes I am tempted to
grow my pubic hair as it was
used in the days of Flower
Power, but I have fear that
my vagina looks “ugly” and
“dirty”. What would you sug-
gest?
Elizabeth P..
Hey Elizabeth!
This is a great topic of discussion.
I have always found it a bit strange,
but there seems to be generational
“trends” for women’s pubic hair,
and the trend, over the past few
decades, is the ever-shrinking bush.
It does seem like a lot of women
choose to lose it all these days, or
get pretty close to it with a “landing
strip” or something to that effect. I
think that, although women have
the right to do whatever they please
with any part of their bodies, it is a
little sad to see so many people do
away with their “hair-down-there”.
For me personally, it is a thing of
convenience, as I model. But it has,
in the past been a thing of self-con-
sciousness. I was afraid men would
think it was disgusting. And then I
realized I had never seen a man
fully shaved in his pubic area, and I
started really questioning why it was
I felt self-conscious letting min grow.
There is some truth to the idea that
people are generally influenced by
their culture, and our culture gener-
ally does not embrace the image of
a lot of pubic hair on women. But
just because your culture embraces
something does not mean its right for
you, and that is totally okay! I have
met more and more women recently
who are sick of having to keep up
such maintenance on an area that
very few people aside from them-
selves even see—so what is the big
deal?
If you feel like you want to grow
it out and see how it looks, you
should! It is your body, after all—you
should be the one to decide what
stays and what grows. Besides, you
can always grow it out, see how it
looks, and if you decide it is not for
you, get rid of it. And if you want to
try again in the future you can. That
is the great thing about hair—you
can grow it, cut it, shape it, shave
it, or, even dye it--just so long as you
are happy with how you look.
So if it is your prerogative, then
grow, baby, grow!
My boyfriend always insists
to do oral sex on him, but I
am very disgusted by this,
even though he is a very
clean person and always
smells good. What can I do to
change these feelings? I re-
ally want to please him.
Sara Lou Martin.
Hey there Sara,
First off, it is totally normal for you
to feel however, you feel about any
sexual act. If you do not like some-
thing, then you may just not like it.
However, there are some questions
you can ask yourself to see whether
or not you can work through it.
First, have you ever had a bad expe-
rience giving or receiving oral? If so,
do the feelings you experienced then
tend to resurface when you think
about giving oral to your current
boyfriend?
Next, does your boyfriend currently
perform oral on you? If not, and it
is something that you want, perhaps
you are feeling unfairly pressured by
him, which makes the idea of doing
it for him repellent.
Lastly, have you ever tried to ration-
ally think about what it is about oral
that disgusts you or s it just a gut
reaction? Sometimes rationalizing
the question and examining all the
elements of a feeling can help us to
better understand those feelings. That
way you can determine whether it
is something you can overcome or
a strong, gut feeling that we should
abide by.
If you really want to try to overcome
these feelings, be blunt with your
boyfriend about how you’re feel-
ing—perhaps there is something
special you want that he can do for
you or a role-play you can take part
it that will make the situation more
arousing for you. If you begin to
associate oral with something that is
more sexually stimulating and satisfy-
ing for you, perhaps it will start to
feel like a more pleasurable experi-
ence. You can also look online for
adult films or even oral “tutorials”
that might help you become more
comfortable and familiar with the
idea.
In the end, it should really just come
down to personal comfort. If the rela-
tionship is important enough to you
both, you will find a way to strike a
compromise.
Best of luck to you!
S
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